i'm unemployed.
again.
i feel like i should feel like i'm a loser. because this is the fourth job i've had in a year. because i gave up on a great job because of a bad feeling. albeit was a very strong bad feeling, but only a feeling nonetheless. because i have a college degree from a top university, but i can't even keep ridiculously stupid jobs. because it's not that i can't keep them (i've actaully never been fired) but instead keep quitting these mindless, menial jobs only to force myself to go on that agonizing, spirit crushing, time consuming quest for the perfect shitty job. and mainly, just because i'm, well, unemployed. so i should feel like a loser.
but it's just that, i only feel like i should feel like a loser. i just realized tonight that i don't really feel like a loser.
however, the one thing i definitely do feel is fear.
how will i pay rent if i don't find a job this week? not to mention all those other annoying expenses that just have to be paid: electricity and water bills, student loan payments, groceries, PSSSSH! nuisances!
i'm scared.
really scared.
and no amount of sarcasm is going to make me feel better.
and it definitely won't get me a job.
pray for me.
